An Era of Failures

Some people define themselves based on their successes. Some people define themselves through materialistic ventures. And some people base who they are on their interactions and/or reactions with and from other people. I used to have a habit of defining who I was through a combination all three previously mentioned. I'm not singling out or hating on those people that do though, just to clear things up. But recently I realized that the success that I may encounter, the things that I buy to represent what I stand for, or the people I associate or communicate with don't define who I am. And I don't want others to let these surface actions define who I am in their eyes.

A few years ago, when I graduated from the "I know everything, I know what's best, and I don't need other people to show me different ways on how to do things because my way is the best way" mentality to the "I don't know shit all, why was I so ignorant, please humble me with some knowledge, and I will always be a student of life" mentality- not only did my mentality change but my perception on everything I knew about love, friendship, humility, struggling- (or at least I thought I knew about) changed as well. After graduating high school I was smacked in the face with reality, humility, and struggle. Still even two years after leaving the safe haven of familiarity- I am only a little bit more knowledgeable and only little bit wiser of the realities of life, the hardships, and dealing with the "failures of life". But that's the thing, I think the most important lesson I've learned so far is to always be prepared to fail, don't be scared to fail, and don't be ashamed of admitting to the failures you've encountered.

Personally, what defines me are my failures,but more so the lesson's I've learned from failing. They say your 20's is the age of failures, but in reality you're whole life is an era of failures. The only time a person ever truly fails is when they don't decide to man the fuck up, learn from it, and go on with their life and realize they are much wiser. I don't want to trap myself in this close-minded, suffocating little box of what makes me-me. Yeah sure, I can define myself as a dancer, a bgirl, student, "Lady Savage", or whatever. But I would much rather be a bgirl who got smoked in a battle but the next battle I held my own. Or a student that failed a paper but the next paper got an A+.

I wrote this blog for the few people that read my blog- but mostly for myself as a reminder to keep hustlin. I've been through a lot of failures recently but just recently I realized that these failures and these lessons I've been learning from them are leading me to where I want to be and are leading me to make decisions that are good for me.

NOTE TO SELF : Don't worry if the things you want don't come right away, or if certain goals you've been working on seem like they are unattainable now because you've "failed". You only fail if you let these failures stop you from doing what you only THINK you can't do.

Keep doing what you're doing, sit back after a long day, smoke some ganja, relax, reflect on what you've learned, and use this knowledge to attain all the things you want in life.