Why do I still miss him? You know it's really depressing because I don't think he misses me at all. I mean I still want to talk to him but I'm the one that calls him, and initiates communication- If I don't...then we don't talk at all. I wrote a really angry xanga blog a few days ago sounding very, very bitter. It was basically saying how I got treated like shit the last few months of our relationship, accusing him that he didn't care anymore, and saying that I could live without him. I feel so stupid now because I totally forgot he suscribes to my xanga. I deleted it now but I have a feeling he read it...
I don't know if I should apologize because what if he didn't read it? He's not answering my calls or my messages on msn. After our breakup I thought we could just go on being friends because it would be better off that way. I had this feeling that I shouldn't move on...but now I'm thinking maybe I should. I don't even know if I can but I'm still holding on, and I don't want to do that if I'm just wasting my time.
I guess I was just waiting for the "I'm willing to change, let's get back together" from him. But you know what? I don't think that will ever happen. Him not making the effort to call and fix everything let's me know how he really feels. That night I broke it off, I hung up...and he never called back...
I would go through anything, everything for him. I would take the pain of being in a crappy relationship just for him.
All I need to know is that Will It Be Worth It? And right now, it doesn't seem like it will.
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