Drunk

So it's 4:32 in the morning and I'm at your house for the first time in forever...drunk as hell. And this is probably one of the most truthful blogs you will ever read. This night was just a gong show. All these mixed signals...all these fucked up things and all the things you've put into my mind. I don't really know how to feel right now. All the things you've said have been jumbled and mixed in my mind I can't even re write what you said to me earlier. I don't even know. I don't understand what you said earlier about in a few years if I still had feelings for you then it would be a good thing. But do you really expect me to still have feelings for you in a few years? Do you really expect me to keep holding on to these feelings? I want to move on but you make it so hard for me? I don't understand why you still do this to me...It's so hard.
Then she was there and then you were talking to some other girl on the phone while I was in your bed in your arms...I really don't understand any of it. You fuck me up so bad. You say all these things and then the next minute your on some other shit completely contradicting what you just said. I don't even know...I don't even know. You told me you fell in love with her...It hurt but I knew deep down that you did. But how could you look me in the eye and say that if we didn't break it off...you would have asked me to marry you in a few years? Thats some fucked up shit you know? Don't do that shit to me/