Ah, Sunday mornings...usually I'm getting ready for sickstylz practice today but I gotta take care of my mom today. I'm going to miss 2 practices in a row but there's nothing I can't do. I can't leave my mom alone in the house- either way I'm screwed...
But anyways, I went to the jam at harbour yesterday. It was pretty dope but honestly I just wasn't into yesterday. I was off and I fucked up on my set. I wish I didn't go and practiced at the studio instead. I haven't sessioned in a while and I haven't sessioned by myself in even longer. I don't know if this is just for me but when I'm alone it just feels so much better then when everyone else is around. I think that's why I've been so uninspired lately. I've been relying on other things or other people to make me feel that way when really it's all up to me. I remember before I used to session alone way more than sessioning with other people. When I go up to battle, especially yesterday with a few of my fellow elktrik members there, there is so much hype around me and the pressure fucks me up. That's why I hate it when people give me props even before I go out. I mean I'm not complaining- I love the support. But it's hard to focus when there is this invisible expectation there from people in the room. It took me a while but I'm starting to learn that the only expectation I should be satisfied fullfilling is my own. Dancing for yourself feels a thousand times better than dancing for others. Other people should try it more often...
No comments:
Post a Comment